Mulish Pride

J Budziszewski

J Budziszewski

J. Budziszewski, now a Christian professor at the University in Texas, shares his story How to Stay Christian in College (Th1nk Edition). At the age of ten, he committed his life to Jesus Christ and was baptized. As a teenager, he was not a mature believer, but he was enthusiastic about his faith. But he fell away from faith while in college. He said, “My politics became a kind of substitute religion. During my student years I had also committed certain sins that I didn’t want to repent. Because the presence of God made me more and more uncomfortable, I began looking for reasons to believe that He didn’t exist. Then again, once I lost hold of God, things started going wrong in my life, and disbelieving in Him seemed a good way to get back at Him…. All of this gives you a clue to the main reason I lost faith in God: sheer, mulish pride. I didn’t want God to be God; I wanted J. Budziszewski to be God…. I now believe that without God, everything goes wrong…. How then did God bring me back? I came, over time, to feel a greater and greater horror about myself – an overpowering sense that my condition was terribly wrong…. The next few years after my conversion were like being in a dark attic – one I had been in for a long time, but in which shutter after shutter was being thrown back to that great shafts of light began to stream in and illuminate the dusty corners. I recovered whole memories, whole feelings, whole way of understanding that I had blocked out. As I look back, I am in awe that God has permitted me to make any contribution to His kingdom at all. But He promises that if only the rebel turns to Jesus Christ in repentant faith, giving up claims of self-ownership and allowing this Jesus, the Christ, the run of the house, He will redeem everything there is in it. And he did.”

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Filed under Conversion, Jesus Christ, Pride

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