Sex and Restoration

J Budziszewski

J Budziszewski

Sexual immorality is one of the greatest enemies to our restoration. I didn’t say “Sex.” God said that was good in Genesis and the Song of Solomon celebrates it! But our God-given sexual instinct has gone wrong. It is broken. We are driven to gratify it in destructive ways, leaving us with guilt, shame, regret, despair and emptiness. You are going to have a very difficult time becoming a restored person if you are sexually immoral. God is the one who created sex. God made this act a pleasurable thing and He placed within us a curiosity about it and a desire to experience it. However, like all good things that God has created, it can and has been perverted, and twisted and used in a way that God has not intended. Sex is a passionate celebration of a whole life commitment and it should happen on a regular basis in a marriage relationship. Redemption does not turn us from sex, rather it restores the sacredness and goodness of it. “Sexual immorality should be opposed not to repress sex but to show forth its true glory (Wolters).” There is a mysterious unity that happens when two individuals share in sexual intimacy. Two become one according to Genesis. It’s a unity of body and spirit. It cements people together. Sex is a physical act that sets up emotional and mental intimacy. One author says it this way: “You’ve used sticky tape, right? It’s great for sealing boxes and gluing things together. But you know, you have to be careful when you use it. A fresh piece of tape sticks to whatever it touches, whether you want it to or not. Tape can’t help it; that’s what it’s for. But if you don’t like where the tape is sticking and you try to rip it loose, there’s going to be damage. The package will tear. And when you do get the tape loose it isn’t as sticky as it was before. Press it on and pull it loose from one thing after another, and eventually it won’t stick to anything at all. Your sexuality is like that, but emotionally and spiritually rather than just physically. Just as a fresh piece of tape sticks to whatever it touches, the first time in your life you use your sexuality you’re going to stick to whoever it touches. Sex can’t help it; that’s what it’s for. But if you don’t like who you’re sticking to and you try to rip yourself loose, there’s going to be damage. Something in your heart will tear, and something will tear in the other person too. And when you do get yourself loose, your sexuality won’t be as sticky as it was before. Press it on and pull it loose from one person after another, and eventually it won’t stick to anyone at all. You’ll sleep with various partners as you have before, but they’ll seem like strangers to you. You just won’t feel anything. You’ll have destroyed your capacity for intimacy (Budziszewski, Ask Me Anything: Provocative Answers for College Students).”

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